


Shattered Soul

by maimedlion



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maimedlion/pseuds/maimedlion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never had they believed it would come to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered Soul

**Author's Note:**

> First fic I've written for the pairing, and the first of what will hopefully be many.

     Absent was what once had been, callous japes thrust unto the heart of which beat within her chest. Emeralds full of life, a sinister gleam within as the ragged lion had grinned in finding amusement at the expense of the one who held him captive. Yet now in their stead hung a grim and horror-filled darkness, as the echoes of a scream long since past reached her ears in a seemingly endless cycle. Pressed against her now did he lay, fever-hot to the slightest brush of her fingers against his skin-

              The wound was a grievous thing that filled her heart with dread. A true horror to behold, for where once lay a hand- his sword hand, the very one of which with once he had wielded a blade with such prowess even  _chained…_ To quell his defiance had proved no simple task, for the man had proved all too capable a fighter, no matter conditions of which he had endured. Yet this? 

       For eyes to fall upon severed limb, flesh rotting, the rank odor assaulting her very senses- strangely, despite that of which she believed and knew of the man; pity filled Brienne’s heart. It had been monstrously cruel, to bring forth suffering as this even to a Lannister, the Kingslayer himself. 

      Rare were his states of consciousness, for each waking moment the agony faced surely thrust him into the painless solace of nothingness. Ofttimes he would scream, at times mutter names regardless of throat torn raw.  _Cersei, Tyrion, father._

_Wench._

         Reasons for his uttering the name of which he had thrust onto her remained unknown- perhaps in some twisted dream, accusation lay upon her in his mind for what had come to pass. Or perhaps, some inner part of him, emerging from the deep crevices of his heart extending out, seeking aid. Aid, from the only of whom yet in this godsforsaken place had not gleefully cast harm upon him. 

    Brienne stood no maester, and never had thought to seek knowledge of more than the slightest of medical aid- should ever she have found herself brought to injury, or a trusted companion. Yet still she knew, as certainly as the sun should birth another dawn- all too poorly Jaime fared. The man could not care for himself, or control bodily functions of which children oft could upon reaching a particular age- and so she would clean him, displaying what little loyalty she could towards him. Though the Mummers forced her upon such a task, with a grim realization Brienne came to know she would have done it anyway. For even he- 

       _I would not see him suffer more; not in a manner such as this._

      When they would make attempt to have their way with her she knew not, yet for the time Hoat seemed content to leave her to care for the dying man.  _Dying, yet that I will not allow._ Renly still lay too fresh in her mind, a failure- and in this, she could not fail Lady Catelyn.  _As I cannot fail the Kingslayer- I_ ** _told_** _him I would keep him safe, no matter how underserving he be of such promises._  Some promise that had turned out to be, for as she sat there in the mud, bound and shivering, Jaime against her- his life all too quickly was fading from her grasp, the maiming taking harsher toll as each day went by.  

      Surely Harrenhal lay not much farther, yet- still she feared he would not make it, that he would die before proper aid could be given at the skilled hands of a maester. Her quest, all chances of seeing the Stark girls returned alive- it would be dismissed at the loss of this one. Worries plagued her mind, as she made attempt to make him more comfortable- a fool’s hope present that perhaps, just perhaps, it might aid him in some way.

    The only action it served was to stir him from his sleep, as emeralds once so bright yet now so very dull opened. Unaware, or perhaps unconcerned regarding his location Jaime appeared by all means, for despite his holding consciousness- all life, true life, seemed to have fled from his flesh. The man was a mere shell of once was, shattered and broken. Would even kin, those of who held such a close bond of blood and flesh recognize this seemingly soulless husk?

      “Jaime.” One of many times of late she had used his name, since that bloody moment that would haunt her memories till the end of her days. Oh, if only he would give true reaction. If he would eat, if he would willingly drink- yet all life, all will and drive to live had been dismissed from his mind. 

       “What point is there?” He rasped, as his gaze moved to rest upon her. The rest of his body lay unmoving, for doubtless movement would only spur further pain, further agony in the hellhole of which he had found himself. She longed to relieve him of it, longed to return them perhaps to what previously had been; bickering and his japes, no more. When he had been whole, rather than  _this._

          “What point is there?” Her echo seemed hardly to reach his ears, for silence hung heavy between them for a time, only the voices of the Mummers surrounding them all to break it. How could this man, once so prideful and confident in his abilities be reduced to such a creature? It seems hours before he spoke again, breaking her thoughts with how terribly frail his voice seemed, as he made no attempt to pull away from her. 

      “I’ve lost all I was, all I ever would have been.” His eyes closed wearily, as he gave a brief shake of his head with a stiff and pained movement. “There is nothing else.” 

      Incredulous, Brienne stared.  _There is your sister, your family, your position as Kingsguard,_ she wanted to scream. To knock him back to his senses, to thrust him into an awareness from which he would arise once more. Yet before she could speak, before voice could be given to those thoughts which danced upon her tongue, Jaime spoke once more. His strength of voice was falling, and doubtlessly within minutes he would be unconscious once more, yet still he spoke.

     “Don’t fight it, when they make attempt..” Emeralds were open once more, locking with her own eyes of sapphires. “ **When** they make attempt, it’ll go easier. It’ll be painful, but..” he trailed off, fighting the darkness which threatened to claim him once more, as his tongue turned to lead. 

      Drained of strength he was, she could see it- even as he had spoken of that which so involved her. They would take her, she knew it, they would make attempt. And while she would not allow it, for her maidenhead was the one thing of which still remained guarded to her- was that  _concern_ he had expressed? For her sake, despite his own life hanging on a thread? A man of whom she had viewed as a monster, a beast of tainted honor? While her opinion of him would not falter, not for some time yet-

     Once more he had slipped into unconsciousness, his body slack against her in a defenseless manner.  _They will come, and will make attempt. He and I, we know that well. Yet he advises weakness… has he truly given up so?_

   By some means, she would protect them both. See them both to Harrenhal safely, her honor unbesmirched and his life still held within the confines of his body. Absent from the Stranger’s grasp he would be, delivered into salvation and a chance for the future. By the strength within her flesh, by the vows she had sworn to lady Catelyn and to Renly once before, she would not fail in this. 

      For if failure were to present itself, self forgiveness was not that of which would ever present itself.


End file.
